Chapter Five Acceptance
by Wilsden
Summary: My last three chapters are dedicated to the memory of Lewis Collins.


The Seven Ages of Bodie.

Chapter Five. Acceptance.

From the moment Bodie guided me away from the Conference Room that day almost everything seemed to change both for me and for him. In the weeks that followed he became, for the most part, a furious bundle of life and energy and, unbelievably, fun. In turn I adapted to this and relaxed into my work in a way I hadn't truly been able to before. We began to work together properly putting into practise all that had been learned but that up until then had been put on hold. I was to remain none the wiser as to the cause of this turn of events other than my own surmising that for some reason best known to Bodie he had turned down Cowley's offer of going it alone.

I asked nothing of Bodie on a personal level and he continued to give nothing. Our relationship was strictly a work related one and as his earlier words of not wanting a friend were firmly embedded in my brain I accepted it. If I was honest I didn't want to rock the somewhat fragile boat we were steering by offering again something he didn't want. There were still times when he was subdued and aloof which I learnt to recognise as a signal that he needed to be left alone. But what we did have at the moment was more than I could ever have hoped for. He was co-operative, enthusiastic and supportive of any view or idea I put forward on an assignment. Knowing that this big man was on my side was a relief and a comfort but no amount of training and role playing could have prepared me for the reality of my first gun battle.

So focused was I on taking in Cowley's instructions as we approached the series of outbuildings by car one evening in late Summer that I had no time to feel fear. Indeed I naively hadn't expected to, after all that was what all the training was for, it all led up to events such as these.

We all spilled silently out of the cars parking in woodland just off the road and began our approach on foot. Cowley had draughted in fellow operatives Matherson and King and as they padded along quietly in front of Bodie and I I wondered if anyone else felt what I was suddenly starting to feel creep over me, though what it was exactly I didn't know. Nervous, excited, scared? Probably a mixture of all three but if they were feeling anything there was certainly no outward sign from any of them. Bodie, beside me, appeared almost mechanical, going through the motions as he probably had a thousand times before; this raid was probably small fry to him. He'd seen and been involved in things a lot more dangerous than this. To me, an ex-policeman who'd carried nothing more for protection than a truncheon this was suddenly terrifying. The gun at my shoulder in its soft leather holster had become such a part of me that I no longer felt its presence. Putting it on in the morning when I dressed was now second nature. And at my shoulder unused it had remained, until now.

Cowley had been tipped off that Carlos Roscoli, international drug baron and on the fifty most wanted men list was supposedly holed up with three of his cronies in a small derelict factory complex of single storey buildings on the outskirts of Colchester.

The buildings came into view in a clearing and apart from a car parked a few yards away from the door there was nothing to indicate any sign of life. Cowley waved his gun at King and Matherson indicating them to circle around the back and as they disappeared he nodded at Bodie and I. We crept forward and my hand automatically tightened around my gun as Bodie reached the door and lifted his foot to throw his weight against the door with such force that the thing flew off its hinges onto the floor.

I hesitated for the briefest of moments to take in the scene and then all hell seemed to break loose. There were more men here than we had been led to believe. Three erupted from a table they were playing cards at in the middle of the room whilst two others fell out of make shift beds in surprise. In the adjoining room at the back of the building several shots rang out.

"Freeze!" Cowley's voice boomed out and something flew across the room to hit him in the face as Bodie lunged forward to plough into two of the men. I recognised Roscoli straight away as the slim gaunt looking man that had fallen from one of the beds. In the immediate confusion and noise he launched himself head first through a window and I instinctively followed, aware of further gunfire behind me. Tumbling to my feet outside among shattered glass I saw Roscoli running hell for leather across the industrial estate.

"Roscoli! Stop!" I shouted though I didn't think for one second that he would and I let off a warning shot over his head. He had no intention of heeding it, instead he turned to face me and, running backwards he lifted his own gun and pulled the trigger. His aim was way off but it sent me a clear message; he wasn't about to give himself up. A trickle of the sweat of fear ran down my back. There was only one way this could end, it was either me or him and I was certain it wasn't going to be me.

Filled with a heady feeling of exhileration I set off alone in persuit again as Roscoli veered away from the industrial units and made for the trees. Vaguely aware of the echo of gunfire far behind me again Bodie's name formed in my mind but I couldn't worry about what was happening back at the factory. Roscoli was my priority, I couldn't let this wanted man escape; I was expected to and wanted to bring him down.

Roscoli weaved his way through the trees to a path and I had him clearly in my sights but still I yelled out his name to give him a chance to surrender. I'd never killed anyone before and I didn't relish the thought but this had to end before he got away from me.

"Stop or I'll shoot, Roscoli!"

Roscoli turned again shooting at me and in the same split second that I had seen his intention I pulled the trigger. He crumpled to the ground instantly. The whole woods took on a deathly silence and I stood where I was for what seemed an age panting hard, the gun hanging loosely at my side. _' I've killed someone. I've taken a life.' _

When eventually I walked cautiously up to the body and turned over his light frame with my foot I stared down at him. I thought I'd feel something more but Roscoli, indirectly, had been the cause of thousands if not millions of deaths over the years. What I had done was a good thing, the right thing, what I had joined C.I.5 for,to make a difference, to do more than I could in the police force. I was grateful to have these few moments alone to reconcile my actions but now I heard my name being shouted with urgency in the distance.

I catch Bodie's eye as we meet at the edge of the woods and the concern melts from his face.

"Ray! You alright?"

"Yeah. What happened?" I nod towards the buildings as he falls in beside me.

"Roscoli got away somehow, no one's seen him. Doesn't look like he was even there. Cowley's doing his nut and says the whole thing was a shambles so no doubt we'll all be copping it for a while. Hardly our fault but, on the plus side, you ought to see the huge haul of drugs Matherson and King found out the back." he gabbles, a release of his own fear. "Matherson got shot in the arm, a graze, nothing serious. Just a shame about Roscoli. Anyway, what happened to you? I never saw you after I kicked the door in."

"He's dead."

"What?"

"Roscoli. He's dead. I shot him."

Bodie swung round in front of me and grabbed my arm, staring at me incredulously. "What? When? Where?"

"Back there." I turn my head to nod behind me.

"You killed Roscoli? Are you sure it was him?"

"Of course I am. He went out the window and I went after him."

Bodie suddenly darts away to check for himself but is quickly back.

"Christ, Ray!" Bodie whistled and then glanced at me. "You're okay though?"

"About killing a man? Oh yeah, I'm great." I replied sarcastically. "But it had to be done and I gave him plenty of chances to give himself up."

Cowley was leaning over the roof of his car taking a call on the radio when we arrived. He finished speaking as we approached and threw the radio into the car seat.

"A right mess," he grumbled. "Probably our only chance to rid ourselves and the world of this man and he evades us once again. He should have been here with his men but there's no sign of him and so far no one's talking." He casts his eyes over the various men being led out into waiting police cars.

I can feel Bodie positively bursting with excitement beside me but he leaves me to break the news.

"He's dead, Sir. Roscoli. I chased him into the woods."

"Roscoli? Are you sure?" Cowley stares at me in disbelief just as Bodie had done.

"Yes, Sir, quite sure." I sense Bodie nodding at Cowley in confirmation.

"Well done, Doyle! Well done indeed!"

"Thank you, Sir. I think I'm better when I work alone! Perhaps we could review the situation." I grin at him sensing Bodie frowning good naturedly just behind me.

"Indeed we could, see me on Monday morning!" Cowley gives me what was to prove a very rare smile before he falls serious again. "Right, you two,get yourselves off home. The local police can can deal with what needs to be done here. But I want your reports on my desk first thing on Monday. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir. Sir, how's Matherson?" I ask.

"Och, he'll be alright. Nothing but a flesh wound."

I'm grateful to Cowley for our dismissal from the scene as sudden fatigue washed over me and I drop into the passenger seat of Bodie's car and he whisks us away. I'm aware that every now and then he glances over at me but he says nothing for several miles and I'm thankful for his silence.I have come to terms with what happened and have no desire to go over it again.

"Was that your first time?" he asks eventually as we head across the Essex border and back towards London.

I pause before answering, appreciative of his concern. It's not something I would have expected from him. Bodie appears remarkably perceptive for he asks no more when I inform him that it was.

When he speaks again I'm taken aback by the tentative step he takes towards friendship.

"Anything planned for the weekend?"

"Yeah, sleep. Lots of it!" I replied gazing unseeing out into the approaching lights of the capital city.

"Same here." he replies. Dispite my tiredness the slight disappointment in his voice doesn't go unnoticed.

"I'll probably take the bike out for a ride too." I venture as he draws up outside my flat. "I think I need to blow away the cobwebs. Wanna join me?"

" Yeah?" Bodie looks at me with bright shining eyes.

" ' Course." I open the car door and glance over at him. "Come over after lunch tomorrow. Do you want to come in now for a coffee?"

"Is that the best you can do in chat up lines?" he grins at me.

"Yeah, take it or leave it!"

"I'll leave it, thanks, mate. You need an early night. Unless you need some company?"

I shake my head at him.

"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow."

As I got out and closed the car door Bodie leaned across the seat. "Ray? You were good today."

"You ain't seen nothing yet!" I wink at him in appreciation and then head indoors, aware that the once seemingly huge chasm of distance between us was slowly beginning to close.


End file.
